3 Steps to Creating the Future You Want

Transcript

[0:00] Hello. This is Coyote Jackson and welcome back to the Loving Kindness Wins podcast where wisdom teachings meet real life. In this episode, I'm going to show how meditation can actually be one of the most practical tools that we have to create the life you truly want, and how both the Eastern Buddhist meditation practices and the modern new age manifestation law of attraction teachings actually say exactly the same thing.

Thinking about meditation, we often think that meditation is primarily about relaxation, trying to think about nothing, or being blissed out maybe. But today I'll show a much more practical side — how meditation can actually literally shape our real world experience. And understanding this is useful even if you don't want to do a formal sitting meditation practice, although that is the way that we can make this work quicker, faster, and more deeply.

[1:00] So first up, on the law of attraction or new age manifestation teaching side, you might have heard me talk before about something that I call the reality creation loop. I've written a few articles about this before. What is it? Well, it's the answer to the question: how do I step into being who I want to be? How do I be that? How do I step into being who I want? The answer is: do the reality creation loop. It's a very powerful, deceptively simple three-step practice.

So the first step is notice. We notice where have my thoughts been? Where has my attention been? We can recognize, oh, I've been focusing on being anxious, or watching TV, or I've been down a rabbit hole of thinking about how bad something is. Whatever we've been focusing on — where has our attention been? So that's the first step: notice. We become aware of our thoughts, our emotional state, where our attention has been focused.

[2:03] So first step: notice where has my attention just been?

Then the second step is that you become willing. We decide that we're ready to change our experience right now. This isn't always the case. We're not always willing in the moment. We can find it hard to be willing to change right now. So often we say, "Well, maybe tomorrow I'll do that. Maybe later after dinner I'll just watch one more show. I'll do something else. I'll go clean the kitchen." So the second step is the development of the willingness to shift our attention right now, in this moment. Later on is another moment. This moment is where the opportunity to practice arises.

[3:04] So second step: become willing to shift your attention right now.

Then the third step is to make that shift. Place your attention on what you want. So we intentionally focus our mind and heart on the feeling, the being, that you want to create. I've talked in another video about how do we know what we want.

[4:07] Once we have chosen what it is that we want, this third step is where we put our attention on that. That could be being happy, being peaceful, being loving, being in confidence, being intimate — whatever it is that you want, whatever reality you want to live in where you get to be that version of you. That is what you put your attention on in this third step: being that.

What does that look like? It could be a couple of ways depending on what it is that you want. It could be by imagining it very vividly and feeling it emotionally, or it could be directly physically embodying that right now. So for example, if you wanted to be a loving leader — that's what one of my clients is working with, to show up in his marriage as a loving leader — then in that third step you would step into that. What does it mean to be a loving leader right now?

[5:08] If you are working with creating the being of athlete, for example, working to transform your body and how you relate to it, then you would summon the being of athlete. And that might look like going to the gym in that moment, or making a healthy meal, or reading or watching something about athletics or the type of exercise or movement that you're interested in.

If what you were wanting was to create the being of intimacy, then you would summon that — feel into intimacy. Generate that within your being, within your heart and your mind, the being of intimacy. And then perhaps reach out to somebody from that space, from the space of being intimate. Reach out and connect to somebody, maybe go on a date — whatever that might be.

[6:08] So those are the three steps, and I call it a loop — the reality creation loop — because we have to do it over and over again. It's not just one and done. This is an ongoing practice all the time. So we just repeat those three steps. Whenever you notice that your attention is on something else, you notice it, you become willing to shift it in the moment, and then shift it onto whatever it is that you want. And then repeat this all day long.

And I want to say that this is not an abstract thing. It's actually very practical. Maybe when I just described the three steps you think it's kind of vague, but it's not meant that way at all. I mean it as a very direct, practical thing to do many times in a day. It's no less practical than something you do out in the physical world — mow the lawn, go to the gym, meet somebody. Physical things. This is that, too. It is something you do. It's just that you do it in your mind rather than necessarily with your hands.

[7:09] I've used this specific practice, these three steps, personally in my own life for many years now, many times over, to radically shift my lived experience. I'll give a few examples, because these aren't just nice ideas. These are real transformations in the world that I live in.

I used to live in a body that felt heavy and stuck, and I believed that it would always be that way because nothing seemed to work to change it. But I began practicing — using these exact three steps — what it would feel like to be somebody who moves, to be an athlete, somebody who enjoys their body and moving through the world. And that shift in attention led me to lose weight, to start running. And then I started training in cycling and swimming, and I started doing triathlons, and eventually shifted into bodybuilding and built a body that feels strong and healthy and joyful to live in.

[8:10] Even when I'm going through illness or injuries or things that occur, the experience is still the feeling of mobility and agility in the body.

Another example is that I used to have a mind that looped in shame all the time. I was constantly rehearsing everything that was wrong with me — worthlessness and blame and the fear, the belief that I was unlovable, completely unlovable. But over time, I practiced these exact three steps, this reality creation loop. Noticing how my attention was constantly on those thoughts, practicing noticing that, then becoming willing to do something else in the moment, and then placing my attention on loving kindness. That was my main core practice. Various versions of that, but ultimately the core of it was to shift my attention onto loving kindness

[9:11] for myself and others, for the entire world. And it worked. I truly love being me, and my world — the world that I experience — is suffused with the experience of loving kindness instead of shame, as it used to be. This is not a small thing. It's a completely different way of being, a different reality that I practiced into reality with this three-step practice.

And people that I've worked with have similarly used this to make huge shifts in their lived experience — within their marriages, in their bodies, in their careers, their living situations, in how they communicate, and many other areas.

[10:14] So here's the insight that I really want you to get. This reality creation loop isn't something separate from meditation. It is meditation. So let's take a look at that. What is meditation then?

Well, in meditation, the first thing that happens after we sit down and get settled is that we're thinking. We're going to be thinking about something. And at some point — it could be a few seconds in, or it could be several minutes in — we notice, oh, I've just been thinking. That's the first step I described in the three-step process: we notice, I've just been thinking. And then the next thing that happens in meditation is that we have some willingness. Oh, I'm supposed to be meditating. What am I supposed to do? Oh right — put my attention on my breath. Okay, I'm going to do that. That's willingness. And then the third step is we go ahead and do that. We shift our attention from wherever it was, the thoughts we were having, we become willing, and then we shift the attention to the breath.

[11:16] We place our attention on the breath. So that's step three: place your attention on what you want. In meditation, what we want to place our attention on is the breath. That's the practice of meditation — to place your attention on the breath.

So then what happens next? We actually just repeat that. Because the next thing that'll happen is we find ourselves thinking, and then we notice, become willing, and place our attention back on the breath. We repeat that loop, those three steps, over and over. And that's basically the full description of what we do in meditation.

By doing that when we sit — doing it often, over and over, sitting for 15 minutes, 30 minutes, an hour — we're training in each of these three steps. We get better because we're repeating it over and over. It's like being in the gym for your mind. We get better at noticing, we get better at being willing, and we get better at placing

[12:18] our attention on what we want — the breath. So this understanding bridges something really important, which is the equivalence between the Eastern meditation teachings and the new age law of attraction teachings.

In traditional Eastern Buddhist meditation teachings, meditation trains our mind towards clarity, compassion, loving kindness, insight, and wisdom. It develops these qualities. And on the other side, the law of attraction teachings emphasize using your mind and emotions to shape your reality, to choose the reality that you want to live in. So they seem quite different. Buddhism and law of attraction teachings are not often seen as equivalent. But actually the key insight here is very clear — they're talking about the exact same thing.

[13:20] On the one side: how do I meditate? You notice, become willing, place your attention on what you want — the breath. And on the manifestation side: how do we be what we want? You do this same three-step process. You notice, you become willing, and you place your attention on what you want — the reality you want to create. It's literally the same mental skill set used in two traditions that seem different.

Both traditions teach very directly that your inner state of mind — where your attention is and the state of your mind — shapes and defines your outer experience. Both agree that where your attention goes, your reality follows. So to create a new reality, learn how to meditate. They're the same as each other.

[14:20] Meditation makes the process conscious and deliberate, and it's the training ground where you get better at doing each of the three steps — the three steps that you need to do to create your own reality, to be whatever it is that you want. So this is why meditation is one of the most practical things that you can ever do. Every time you practice, you are strengthening your ability to consciously create your life.

So we can sit for a while and train in these three steps, and then out in the world day to day we do the same three steps on the spot. It's not abstract at all. It's a very direct and tangible skill.

[15:21] So I encourage you to practice this — the reality creation loop, those three steps — every day, even just for a few moments. You could try it right now after listening to this. Rather than going on to something else, you could sit and practice just for a few minutes, and notice how changeable your experience can be. Even if it's just for a few seconds — you notice where your thoughts have been, where your attention is, you become willing, and then you place your attention on what you want: intimacy, connection, love, peace, whatever it might be. Place your attention there and notice how your experience shifts. It might only be for one second or a split second, but it is changeable. And so then it's just about repeating it many times, and practicing the skills. Using meditation will make you better at it.

All right, that's it for this time. If this resonates with you, please follow me for more insights about applying wisdom teachings. And please sign up for emails at coyotejackson.com. Until next time, and remember — loving kindness wins.