Be, Do, Have

One of the most profound teachings for transformation is seeing through the built-in thinking mistake that is pervasive in all of our minds: we think we have to HAVE something, then that will enable us to DO things, and then we will BE something. We think it goes Have, Do, Be.

For example: I need to HAVE a new job, then I can DO better work, then I will BE happy. Or: I need to HAVE a fitter body, then I can DO intimacy, then I will BE without shame. Or: HAVE more money, then DO travel, then BE passionate about life.

But the way it actually works is the reverse: BE, DO, HAVE. First be who you really are, then do what you need to do, and you will have what you want.

Instead of waiting until you find a partner, be loving right now, all day long, and just see what happens. Your whole world will change. Instead of needing to have a bigger house to feel connected, be connected right now by reaching out to friends and bringing happiness with you. Instead of needing to lose weight to be intimate, practice being intimate and vulnerable about your fears with your partners.

The normal way of thinking (Have, Do, Be) is based on lack. We don't have something, we need to get it. Almost our entire economy is built on this delusion. Advertising pushes this constantly — you're broken, buy this thing, then you'll be perfect.

The shift to Be, Do, Have is the shift from lack-based unconsciousness to abundance. Instead of constantly mortgaging our present into the future, we can directly work on what we want. This is how you create permanent transformational change rather than temporary change. Many programs focus only on the having or the doing, and people achieve the goal but fall back because they never addressed the being.

The feeling when we are in the Being of what we want is immensely different. Even if it's just a tiny fraction of one second that you can do it, that is great. Do it over and over and after a while it will last for a second, then a minute, and then most of the time.